Stories

He was exhausted and put himself to bed in the middle of the day. He got sicker and the doctor attempted a fructose malabsorption test. The methane gas level coming off of him was too high to establish a baseline and he was diagnosed with SIBO. He did a very strong dose of antibiotics and started on an elimination diet. He improved for a short time and then took a dive again. This time we were sent for a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. He was diagnosed with microscopic colitis. We were told to go home and manage it as long as we could, because all that they could offer us was a round of steroids every three months. When his youngest brother was born, it was suggested that he get the flu shot to protect his brother. I was concerned about this and so the doctor recommended the flu nasal vaccination instead. I authorized this spray and my son developed grand mal seizures and was diagnosed with epilepsy shortly after. He continued to be extremely exhausted, so we were sent to a sleep study where it was discovered that he quit breathing 12-14 times per minute.  He has now been diagnosed with sleep apnea and travels with an oxygen machine. In the last year, he has also developed a tic.

Then at age 7, she began to develop a series of tics. Her doctor said she would probably grow out of it, but at puberty they got worse. Much worse. Her friends’ mothers said to me, “what is wrong with her?” It was very obvious and disturbing. Later I learned from my own research that thimerosal (which my children received in their vaccines) causes tics. It can also cause OCD and anxiety, which are things she also must contend with. She also has difficulty with stress; becoming overwhelmed by things that to me were so small I didn’t believe her at first, thinking she was just complaining. She wasn’t. It’s real.

My daughter’s pediatrician put in her chart notes that she is “under vaccinated.” The doctor was extremely closed to the possibility of harm from her vaccines and had no interest in reading the information I brought her. She also was one of the doctors in our area who signed a Guest Opinion in the paper urging people NOT to see the movie Vaxxed.

I thought my son was not harmed by his vaccines, but he had learning challenges and slowed development. He did not learn to read until he was 9 and academics was always a struggle. As a young boy, he was treated for sensory processing issues and he was a toe walker, both of which can be caused by neurological damage. His learning difficulties led me to have him tested for special needs support when he was 16. The report said that his intelligence was normal, but he had unusually slow processing of information. He qualified for accommodations for his college education, although as it turned out, he didn’t end up needing to use them.

I learned from a May 2018 article in the Weston A. Price Foundation journal (“Consequences and Challenges of Developmental Mercury Exposure” that thimerosal destroys neurons, especially long axons. They grow back, but much shorter. Finally I had an answer to both of my children’s difficulties:

Whereas long-range axons can be compared to superhighways, short-range axons are like side roads with lots of stop lights. You can get where you need to go on a side road, but it can be more complicated, time-consuming and exhausting. In the brain, this convoluted routing can result in a drastically decreased processing speed. It also requires more energy, which can be tiring.

 As a result, the brain may be better at localized processing than global processing. This may make it harder to pay attention and process sensory information, and easier to get obsessed about small things.

(https://www.westonaprice.org/health-topics/environmental-toxins/the-consequences-and-challenges-of-developmental-mercury-exposure/)

I am now convinced that both of my children, born in the second half of the 1990’s, were harmed by their vaccines. Certainly the thimerosal played a part, but it may have been other ingredients as well. Since their vaccines were given in combination there is no way to know exactly which vaccines did the harm. But I do know they were harmed.

I have also seen vaccine injury with my oldest son, who had significant speech and language delay after following the recommended CDC schedule. He could not follow a two-step direction when he was 4, such as “please go get your shoes and bring them to me”, and daily conversation and communication was an arduous if not impossible task. I also had a 2 year-old and a newborn at a the time, so you can imagine that it was debilitating and very stressful for us. When we decided to stop vaccinating and do a heavy metal detox (vaccines contain mercury i.e. thimerosal, aluminum, and other toxic ingredients listed on the CDC vaccine excipient list), it was as my husband described “the scales fell off his eyes”, and my son’s language just exploded. It was a dramatic change, and I felt like I had my son back, because suddenly he could communicate what he’d been “stuck” at trying to say for years. As a mom, this was equally wonderful and devastating, a shock that a medical procedure of vaccinating deemed so “safe” for everyone, was indeed not safe for us.

diapers, wipes, cribs, monitors, carriers… and the list goes on. I know you were so careful to create the best environment for your baby – feeding, cuddling, swaddling, changing diapers, singing songs, making silly faces, rocking to sleep and giving your precious child all your love. I know when your child was born, you looked into your sweet baby’s eyes and knew that you would do anything and everything in your power to protect them. I know that this included vaccines.

I know you were told by the masses that there is overwhelming scientific evidence that vaccines are safe and effective and will protect your baby from harm. I know you were told by your doctors and nurses that vaccinating your baby was the only way to truly protect them from these “deadly diseases”. Maybe you were even told by your family and friends that getting your child vaccinated is one of the most important things you can do to keep them safe and healthy. You just wanted your baby to be safe and healthy.

So, like the responsible mama you are, just trying to do what’s best for your child, you allowed the nurse to administer those vaccines. Maybe it didn’t happen the first time, maybe it was the 5th time or the 15th time. Maybe it took a while to see the effects or put the pieces together, but eventually, it happened. Your child was vaccine injured. Maybe your child had vaccine induced encephalitis and screamed for days or weeks on end because their brain became inflamed from the toxins. Maybe your child stopped speaking, or walking or just being their normal self. Maybe you reported this to the pediatrician, but you were assured that it was normal. Maybe your child regressed into autism, but that can’t be true, because vaccines don’t cause autism, right? At least, that’s what the doctor said. Maybe you continued to vaccinate because it wasn’t so obvious right away. Maybe the insanely high amount of aluminum combined with polysorbate 80 found in most vaccines caused terrible neurological effects on your child. Maybe they lost use of their arm or leg, or got vaccine induced Guillan Barre and became paralyzed. Maybe your child developed severe gut health problems, or allergies, or an auto-immune disorder, or eczema, or seizures.

Maybe your child died.

My heart goes out to you. My heart hurts for you. Your situation is unique because this is probably the one injury your child could get that doctors just “can’t figure out” how it happened. It’s unique because when a child is injured or killed by a natural cause, there is so much compassion given to those hurting parents. It’s unique because the moment you say that your child is vaccine injured, you might be told that you just need something to blame and anyone who would say something like that is “anti-science”. Your situation is NOT uncommon though. Far from it. The few adverse reactions I mentioned above don’t even come close to listing all of the side effects and adverse events that can AND DO happen from vaccines.

I know if your doctor had given you real informed consent, you would have had the information to make the best decision for your beautiful baby. I know if you had known for one second what would happen to your child, you probably wouldn’t have vaccinated them. I know that sometimes it hurts so much to not be able to change what happened and wishing all the time that you would have known. I know vaccine injury is real, and all too common. But they didn’t tell you that, did they? I know, because they didn’t tell me either.

Listen mama, I may not know your exact situation, but I know you did your best with the information you were given, and I want you to know this too:
I believe you.
I know you.
I am you.